Road Remedies

RIDING HERD
LJUBLJANA, Slovenia – The train rattles toward the Croatian border. "I want to see cows," Edward announces into the companionable silence.

"For a genius, you sound remarkably stupid with non-sequiturs like that," I point out. As a good friend, I'm always there with the constructive snark.

"Stop being a smartass imaginary little sister," he says. "Think about it: supposedly Slovenia is an agricultural economy. Where are the livestock?'

Hmmmm. True. In five days, I haven't seen a single sheep or goat or pig. Just some ornamental goldfish and banana barns...

I have a lot of bad theories, mainly derived from the Weekly World News, the Elvis-spotting tabloid that gave us Bat Boy. In fact, I even recall some headline about cow-napping aliens...

About 20 minutes later, our investigative instincts are rewarded. I probably bruise Ed's forearm, flailing in my excitement. "Look, look, look!"

An ostrich flock stampedes alongside the train, black saucer eyes agoggle.

"Now I can leave Slovenia happy," he says.

And so we do.