SNARKS ON A PLANE
SEATTLE, Washington – Travel writing isn't all peacock-feather fans and baths of asses milk. No, at times, even the best of us anchor at a desk, usually in a garret reeking of kitty grit and coffee grounds.
Then we email.
Important stuff like mocking nomarriage.com and the Seattle Chill.
With friends scattered through most time zones, an established author can procrastinate around the clock.
Lately, these products created a buzz worth inflicting on a wider audience:
Most Coveted: Laser Keyboard
Matchbook-sized gadget projects 63 keys worth of QWERTY goodness. So very Bond-meets-Bluetooth.
Blogger Leif Pettersen reports on Killing Batteries: "All I need is a firm, flat surface with no protrusions and I’m zapping out that article like god intended (up to 400 keystrokes per minute, beeotch!) ... This is so sick, sick cool that I’m choking on my own drool."
Most Mocked: Plane Sheets
Germophobe product made worse by fabric names with "flair": Zany Zebra, Candyland Good N Plenty and Chenille Minky Green Camouflage.
Minky? A typo of "manky", Britslang for tacky, tasteless and naff?
No, wait, it's a sort of plush (prized among the camo-crowd, I'm sure: "Sergeant, could I get those battle fatigues in minky? I have some chafing issues, sir. Hooah!").
Inspired, one colleague declared: "I'm going to upholster everything in plane sheets, take [codeine], and listen to Lou Reed. I see the next fifty years stretching out in front of me."
That nomarriage.com site looks like a winner.
ReplyDeleteUpholstering everything in minky green would be swank. I'm sure all the chicks would dig it.
The Cotswold belle helpfully emailed that I fit every condition on the "whom not to marry" list.
ReplyDeletePoint of pride, that.
Because, really, who wants a missing-link goon, who wouldn't understand the beauty of minky?
REAL MEN WEAR MINKY!
ReplyDeleteMinky for all my friends...
ReplyDeleteUnless you want one of these suits. In which case, please keep your kink to yourself...