Jun 25, 2008


Today's funeral report is brought to you courtesy of Facebook messaging and stars my college chum Steven Wolfe, now a writer and literature prof.

SW: Irish and Italian. That's a whole lotta Catholic. Feel guilty much?

AC: Only when I announced that I wanted to "snatch the weenie priest bald" in front of devout relatives.

He had this a sort of Polyphemus tuft against a monk-like pate. And kept saying daft things like, "this isn't about your nostalgia or grief. It's about EMMA'S ETERNAL SALVATION. We sing God's songs in God's house."


SW: Amanda, that note is one of strangest and most fascinating little pieces of writing I've ever received. I don't think there's a single sentence in it that I've ever read before. It's Shane MacGowan after a kick in the face from a donkey.

AC: I can't take much credit: the weenie priest authored most of it...

At least he did something right.


  1. :)

    glad to see you're bloggin again.

  2. How was his hair like a cyclops? Did you escape the church by clinging to sheep?

  3. Haha, you said "weenie".

  4. S: thanks. Tis nice to be back in the saddle.

    Louche: Imagine a tonsure-like balding pattern ... with an isolated tuft of fuzz in former widow's peak position.

    The pain of this coiffure and his bible beating made me stumble blindly from the church, treading down elderly ladies from the Rosary Society. Utter carnage.

  5. DB: Oh dear, have I killed my instructorly gravitas with "weenie"? Google Ads certainly didn't like it (especially, I suspect, combined with "priest"). It flipped me onto the charity announcements for several hours, no doubt until some humanoid green-lighted the innocence of the post...

  6. Maybe Google AdSense is Catholic?

  7. It's more of a benevolent god in its own right, I think...

  8. Well, I don't know if it's benevolent but it's omnipotent, that's for sure.