Aug 17, 2008


VICTORIA, British Columbia – My college roommate Robbie and I meet for dinner after work. That's around 10pm, given my hectic travel schedule.

We haven't seen each other since 1996. So it's extra shocking to find him detained by cops outside my seedy hotel. "I ran into the lobby," he explains. "I was a little distracted by the hooker washing her boobs in the sprinkler – nice 'hood here – but I engaged the parking brake.

"It failed.

"The Mini rolled right into the intersection."

"On Douglas Street?" I gasp. Even a Victoria-newbie like myself knows this major artery morphs into Route 1. In other words, Robbie's car went walkabout on one of Vancouver Island's busiest thoroughfares.

"Yes. But no one hit it. And the police here are so nice. They happened along and just parked around the Mini with their emergency blinkers on. I didn't even get a ticket."

All that, plus socialized medicine and legalized gay marriage? What's not to love aboot Canada, eh?

Aside from poutine, obviously.

* For cave-dwellers who have not yet seen South Park's "Canada on Strike!" episode, aren't you sorry b@stards ashamed? Run, don't walk, to "the Internet" and see this classic WGA spoof.


  1. And what's wrong with poutine, eh? Don't be a hoser - it's great!

  2. I just learned the new-fangled Quebeckers are topping poutine with SMOKED MEAT: merging two of the area's finer delicacies.

    Is nothing sacred to you people?


  3. Montreal Smoked Meat with poutine?! Goodness, God DOES exist!