2. The boat was on time. Who knew such a thing could happen?
3. Thus his partner in a hedge-clipping frenzy fails to check messages.
5. The $200 suite boasts a scout-troop-sized kitchen, mudroom (remove all foodstuffs: bear threat) and two queen-sized bunk beds clustered around an old VHS player (all is forgiven for the battered cassette of A Fish Called Wanda). Also we're loaned a rowboat to cross Bamfield Inlet, which slices this 251-person metropolis in two.
6. "We don't have restaurants on Wednesday nights. Just the pub."
7. Don't order Caesar salad. Following Castleman's Law of Area-appropriate Menu Navigation, stick to the deep-fried mozzarella sticks.
8. Burger specials on Wednesdays! Pair with Pilsner-style Kokanee for a "glacier fresh" backcountry taste sensation.
9. The town's only taxi has a "scheduled emergency" for the next morning.
10. No, the proprietor won't clock on half an hour earlier to bail out stranded hikers. But she really, really hopes you won't think poorly of her company, which will have a second vehicle next month.
"Lady, that won't help me tomorrow, will it?"
"Just please don't think we're uncooperative."
As Archie Leach says, "I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future."