TOFINO, British Columbia Some days, everything happens for a reason...
My twice-confirmed water taxi bails for a more juicy fare. Irritated, I wander into the bookstore for an espresso and just happen to overhear kayak trips being reserved to Meares Island, precisely where I need to report.
She shoots! She scores!
So I paddle a silky, sweet boat on Browning Passage. And then, after surveying the ancient cedars, I wind up licking a slug ... because the guide Cody insists the slime anaesthetizes.
"My mother chewed one as a girl," a fellow traveler Byron cuts in. "Her tongue swelled up to five times its normal size."
Cody sighs. "I've never convinced a client to try it."
At this point, I pretty much have to ... choice has evaporated from the equation. The guide and I sift through the various slugs on the trail's duff. "Ooh, this one looks sticky," he volunteers, offering a black-and-chartreuse-spotted fatty.
I hold it on a leaf, then on the count of three brush my tongue across its back. "Again!" someone shouts, as flashes strobe. "One more time!"
After three licks, my tongue numbs slightly (placebo effect, no doubt), but I am no closer to the center of the Tootsie pop.
As a vegetarian, I skip the crunch.