Dec 14, 2006

NANAIMO, British Columbia: Now here's a puzzler...

Q: Karen and Amanda's float plane departed three hours early – without the intrepid journalists – due to the imminent storm-of-a-decade. Stranded in B.C., their phone shows just one bar of power, as they slalom down the treacherous Malahat. Do they:

A) Swap batteries with an identical model unable to roam international?
B) Rip apart the rental, until discovering the charger portal in a secret panel behind the steering wheel?
C) Spend the next 40 hours stymied by delayed ferries, canceled flights and blocked roads: scrambling wildly to reach their hometown of Seattle, which has been declared a disaster area?
D) Sip a cocktail at the Empress to blunt the pain, dahling?
E) Marry local and raise babies on free insurance, eh?
F) Gibber into the woods, because those rotten roadside jack-o'-lanterns – so Blair Witch – are the last straw?

In the Toffewomble spirit, please submit answers on the back of blank check. Or just snark on comments, as usual.

To enter the prize drawing – for a copy of Chasing Clayoquot: A Wilderness Almanac – contestants must identify all applicable answers by January 31, 2007.

ELIGIBILITY: This Contest is open to individuals 13 years of age or older at time of entry. Void where prohibited by law, plus the countries of Lichtenstein and Andorra, because they are offensively small. Employees of Road Remedies, and anyone working directly on RR's plan to take over the world tonight, Pinky – as well as their immediate family members – are not eligible to enter.


  1. Anonymous10:02 AM

    It's either C or all but C...I can't decide!


  2. Anonymous10:04 AM

    I meant E or all but E


  3. Contrary Canuck5:43 PM

    Personally, I won't rest until you're married off to a hockey player.

  4. First of all, I want you to know that me and my Andorran heritage are highly offended by your Andorra / Liechtenstein exclusion rule ... but I'll take on your challenge anyway, because I want that book, damnit.

    A clarification question though, regarding you and Karen ... which one of you is Ginger, and which is Mary Ann?

    Nevertheless, clearly, the answer must be multi-faceted since it wouldn't be much of a sitcom series if it wasn't. Therefore, I say you try (A) first in desperation ... then headfake (E) (note: headfake, because you can't actually go through with this option since those free health care-toting northerners are all thugs) ... which allows you to swindle (D) from a lonely, local retiree ... while waiting for said phone to charge via (B) ... which, after a couple of hours, allows you to embark on (C).

    Everyone knows that (F) is just a ruse because you didn't have a cheap videocam with you and besides, Blair Witch was always overrated, anyway.

    Am I right, Ginger?