Jan 2, 2009

NEW YEAR, NEW LEARNING CURVE

1. Carry the cell. Especially when people give the wrong directions, others then drop you off accidentally in strange quadrants of town and you've written down a useless number (home) for the one person who can make it all better.

2. In a pinch, one may count upon Buddhists and people with Tibetan prayer flags to loan their phones.

3. How friggin' Buddhist can you really be, if you'll eat turkey "not killed for me," but then object to a black-bean garden burger on grounds that it could be patty-shaped (not) and you're "rejecting that whole meat hierarchy"? This, my wuss-@ss, double-talking friend, is how vegan-vegetarian fist fights break out. But it's New Year's Eve. I'll chill. Heck, I'll even buy your pint, since I'm stuck at the 74th Street Ale House dressed for cabaret downtown – boa, beehive, frock and bloody heels – and thus feeling Christopher-Isherwood-decadent and all.

4. The Can Can has one bartender on duty. Don't even try to wet your whistle, else you might ring in 2010 trying to flag down service.

5. Cheddar-jalapeño eggs pair poorly with a maple-syruped short stack and Daily-editor nostalgia at Beth's all-night cafe*.

Obvious lessons all, but spicier and sweeter for the empirical evidence...

*At the end of each term, the outgoing boss traditionally attempts Beth's legendary 12-egg omelet. I'm told sports writer Papa Hans face-planted in my dish, voiding my (painfully non-impressive) finale. Erm, I have no memory of this, possibly because some ungrateful degenerates were tippling in the darkroom...

2 comments:

  1. Jeffrey Lemkin9:59 AM

    That's cause any serious food faddist worth the name observes the niceties of their own personal style of eating with almost Talmudic precision - in fact, I'd say that (many) serious vegans are. . .religious. . .about their dietary predelictions.

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  2. I agree. And live and let live .... Except turkey + patty-phobia just blew my mind.

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