Jan 13, 2009


SEATTLE, Washington – Take two kids, preferably six- and 7.75-year-old girls. Add a dash of penny-squishing legal defiance at the Ballard locks. It's hard to misbehave in Seattle's old Scandinavian fishing village, but try to give Japanese tourists a thrill. And your spare coppers.

Inject ample sugar, courtesy of Cupcake Royale, home of the "Coconut Bunny" and "Dance Party with Holly Hobbie." Just FYI – before you get all square-dance indignant like me – the fresh-branded HH rocks the hip-huggers and is the (yeah, whatever) "granddaughter" of the classic bonneted version. It's bogus, sure, but don't be a hater!

Run through Archie McPhee, the world's kitsch omphalos: all the unicorns, bacon and ninjas a modern sophisticate needs.

When the giddy peaks – Masks! Wigs!! Wind-up sushi!!! – bring out the trusty SLR camera.

Incriminating shots stashed, lure everyone outside with promises they can kazoo home. Pray no one upchucks frosting into the whistles. Because, yeah, they're tweeting that hard. Right outside the humorless gentrified townhouses you loathe, strangely.

Allow children to ricochet off your garret's furniture. Then fret. All those sharp edges...

Add exercise balls for extra frisson. Hope no one bleeds from or on the vintage Raymond Chandler omnibus.

Whip to a souffle-style froth.

Ignore handsome scoundrels who cheat at Operation SpongeBob. Really, now, is the Patty Pleasure Center important enough to sacrifice your dignity? Supposing you have any to start with?

Drink wine, nosh pizza, watch Eloise. Discover that nonconformity is always in, dahlink, even if you can't be arsed to brush your hair. Savor this as a philosophy for the ages...

Wind down with baby yoga. Never mind that this primarily involves falling after absurd stunts, then laughing unto stomach cramps.

Rinse and repeat.


  1. You know Amanda, that's just like my life now...every day... That's why kids are sooooooo worth it. They keep you pumped full of sugar and adrenaline at all times and forever. No rest for the...never mind!

  2. I don't have kids but manage to stay pumped with sugar, running around with my head cut off and then crash and burn in the evening.

    I don't wanna grow up because I love Cupcake Royale too much!

    Thanks for sharing a fun day!

    Beth Whitman

  3. You've obviously never made a souffle: Froth?

    Try soft peaks. And I though you were getting into baking...

  4. Beth: next time you're in the neighborhood, we'll set you up with a "Dance Party with Hollie Hobby" cupcake!

    Mike: Don't you froth the eggs before baking them? Oh never mind. It's not like I'm going to make a souffle anyways...